datestampMonday, March 31, 2014

The Earth

I've tried to teach my children to respect the earth...to love it, to enjoy it, to feel it.  I am so grateful for this beautiful earth. Grateful I am blessed to have the opportunity to live on it. Grateful to see the beauty of it everyday.  A few weeks ago my sweet girl was asked to give a talk in church. It could be on any topic. To my surprise she picked; The Earth. I helped her write her thoughts down and she drew pictures and spoke on her own.
                              
                                                       The Earth
Heavenly Father gave us this earth for a reason, because He loves us so much.  He wanted us to have a place to learn and grow.  These are some of the reasons why I love our earth.

1. I love the warm sunshine shining on my back.
2. I love the feel of the grass when I lay down on it.
3. I like to feel the dirt on my hands when I plant a seed.
4. I like to dance and play in the rain.
5. I like it when the wind blows in my hair and face.
6. I like it when I hear the birds chirping.
7. I like to play in the snow and touch the icicles.
8. In the Summer I love to run and play tag with my friends.
9. I like to watch my garden grow every day.
10. I like to go on bike rides and explore.

This earth is a beautiful gift from our Heavenly Father.  I am so grateful for it. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

While she spoke, I was beaming with pride, felt love...joy...peace. Her thoughts rang true in my heart. I have so much to learn from my sweet babe and her spirit.  What an amazing gift we all have been given. I am happy we can share it together.

datestampFriday, February 14, 2014

Grace

When I wrote my last post, I second guessed myself. It sat for hours without me publishing. I felt strange asking for prayers.  After hours of going back and forth in my mind I fell asleep. I awoke around 2:45am to the thought that I absolutely HAD to push the publish button...the feeling overcame me and I did it. I realized that I need you. I needed these prayers and good thoughts. I've felt a lot of peace over the years, but the last 3 days have been phenomenal. No late nights worrying, no anxiety, just peace. Oh, how sweet it has tasted. I am forever indebted to you all.
Today I found out that some of my tumors have calcified and are in necrosis, which means they are dead. I also learned that several are vascular, which means they're alive and have their own blood supply, but they are STABLE!  This is AMAZING news! The treatment that I've been doing for the last year and a half is working! We saw a light at the end of the tunnel...and it felt so good embracing it. I know we have a long journey ahead of us, but I know we are being blessed along the way. Words cannot adequately express my thoughts and feelings.  This I know with every fiber of my being that God lives. I know He is aware of each of us. I know that I'm living because of His grace. I know He hears us. We are not alone. Thank you for being a part of our journey. Much love to you my friends.

datestampTuesday, February 11, 2014

real

I know a few things in this life are real.  One of those thing being prayer. For me, I know that God hears me and listens to my pleas. I know He hears you. I have a simple request... If just for a moment would you please say a prayer in my behalf? Is it strange to ask? Maybe...but I know He will listen. Call it what you may. A higher power. Being. Universe. Prayer. Thought. Will.  I know there is power in many.  I'm being honest. Asking real questions. Do I have Cancer? Yes. Should I still be alive with the type of Cancer I have? No, but I am living by the grace of God. Do I have my CT scans in 36 hours? Yes. Am I human and need peace? Yes. Am I afraid at times? Yes...but tonight...tonight I'm focusing on what is real. I need you...for a moment. Please. I have Hope. I know He will listen.

datestampThursday, February 6, 2014

Alive

I love to dream...it keeps me grounded. I love looking forward to the next moment. Life has so much to experience...so much living to do. I talk often with my sweet man about our dreams.  Where we see ourselves in years to come...in moments...in time.  I get to hold my sweet babies. I see Joy in their eyes. I embrace it and hold on tight to the memories we are making. I look back and feel so much...wow. We are blessed. I feel happy. Peace. I am in awe to be on this earth;  Here. Now. Alive. I've dreamt of this life for years...and I get to be here. I embrace life and live. It feels so good.  I can breathe.

datestampSaturday, January 11, 2014

yesterday

Sometimes it just hits me...moments where I remember how far I've come.  Quite a few years ago, when I was really struggling, and oh so sick from the chemo. My sweet brothers and sisters came to our home with a warm meal, smiling faces, encouraging words. They set up the tables and chairs. Warmth and voices filled our home. Light. It was time to eat and they came to my bed...lifted me up and carried me. I shed many tears and cried out in pain.  "I cannot do this!"  "I am so tired." My sweet sisters said: "Yes, you can...you can do this.  We love you...you are strong."  For a moment time stood still. I remember looking around; there was so much love surrounding me...us. Everything was okay in that moment. Peace swept my soul. Love engulfed me. Hope filled my heart. Doubt and fear left. I was still.
I wept when this memory came to my mind. Wept. Some memories are hard to relive, but necessary to remember. I am grateful for these moments to remind me of how blessed I am. What a gift my sweet family gave me that day. I am so grateful they believed in me, and continue do so. From the bottom of my heart and soul. I love you. I love you. I love you.

datestampMonday, December 23, 2013

Silent Night



God is aware of us. No matter what stage of our life's we are in. He is mindful of us and our well being. I know He lives. I know that Jesus Christ is my Savior. I am truly grateful for this Cancer in my life. Although it has been extremely difficult, it has taught me how to live, how to love, how to forgive, how to be...just be. My cup runneth over. I am so very blessed. I am thankful for each breathe, each moment. I am grateful for time. I am grateful for the simple things of this life.  I am grateful I get to be a Momma to my babies...even though they drive me crazy at times...I wouldn't trade being a Mother for anything! I am thankful for my sweet Andy...he is my knight in shining armor. I often wonder how I got so lucky to marry him?! I am thankful, so thankful for that Silent Night many moons ago...for the birth of our Savior, Jesus Christ. I am in reverence of His compassion and love for all of us. I have felt His love and mercy many times in my life. I am grateful for this season.  I pray you will find peace, no matter where you are in life, or what you are doing.  May you feel His light surrounding you.  May you feel His love. May you know He is aware of you. May you feel Joy and let Him in.

datestampThursday, November 21, 2013

Living with gratitude







It's been a rough few days, and some long nights since doing my last treatment.  I've struggled to see the light at moments. Today I was reminded by all that I have been given...just by hearing this powerful man share his thoughts on gratitude. Instantly I felt better and remembered there is good in everything...even when things are hard, there is good.  I am grateful for a new night that darkness brings and a new day tomorrow for living and finding joy in all I have.